What a fucking year.


Starting this one right, there's no catchy title that could sum up 2020.


And no, this post isn't about the Rona. I reckon we're all just a little bit done with that one now.


This most isn't about schooling, mental health, rules, regs or anything rona related for that matter.


It's about me.


It's about my focus past 2020. Because we have to draw a positive energy (a little bit sick in my mouth*) from somewhere.. I'm sick to death of the Ig positive mantras everywhere, I'm sooo sick of the mindset coaches and I'm a tad angry at those wellness bloggers monetising the shit out of a year where, not alot has been achievable..


I'm not for a second saying some people haven't benefited from guidance, or some people haven't managed to conjure up some amazing home based rona suitable businesses..

I'm saying that for average Joe, it's been a tough year and trying to make £ wasn't possible for many of us. Surviving was.


Whats negative about floods of positive mantras you might be wondering? Well, for years I suffered with huge anxiety about needing to Get up and ready, and pro-active everyday.. I ran myself into the ground. Life was always 100 miles an hour, rules/regs/routine..


I now know it's ok to partake in self care, in fact, it's a must.. as no, self care doesn't mean a bath without the kids knocking on the door, it's not a food shop without the children, there all usual things that I deserve, that's not a break for me.. or you!


The the first time in my life, I'm ok with getting up a little later when we don't have the children, still working on the actual lie in, logistically, my body clock won't allow it, but the idea of relaxing in bed longer, I'm finally ok with!


My idea of self care, is quality alone time doing things I enjoy and as restricted as we are in the Uk, I'm going to make the most of solitude by the beach and woodland walks, they're my kind of thing.


Anyway, back to the point... I like focus, I don't necessarily care what we many to achieve throughout a shit year like this, as long as I have some sort of focus for my future..

Now, a couple of posts ago I was saying I'm not a planner, why have your next 3-5 years mapped out?.. I stand by that, usually. But at times like this it's great to look ahead and no! I don't mean booking holidays I mean the idea or what my life will look like, ideally, next year.

I'm focusing on what changes i'd like to see for our Family by late 2021, if Rona will allow.


I think what I'm really trying to say is, that the suicidal fb posts, the constant reference to mental health.. it's upsetting, understandable but upsetting and there's so much focus on surviving these times, not functioning in these times, feelings of hopelessness..

It's gotten to me, everyone is different. Everyones experience throughout 2020 has been different and has lead to different outcomes, and I'm choosing to almost 'float through it, not because it's easy, but because that's what works for me, I can't put pressure on myself more than I have already with the homeschooling, the business, the baby.. I have to relax now and focus on the future as best I can,


I hope my little share helps some of you who may be feeling slightly overwhelmed too x


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