We've been on the coronacoaster since March, a week before lockdown began..
This was going to be a post solely about shopping and preparing for your newborn during covid, but it's sooo much more than that isn't it.
Technically we could survive without cots and an abundance of clothing if we needed to, it's more about the worry, stress and anxieties of prepping for a newborn and sustaining lockdown life as best we can from home, I'd rather share a little bit of our life over the past few weeks just to show you you're not alone.
We planned for a home birth and being in lockdown didn't think a carseat was priority because we weren't going anywhere and didn't think we'd need to travel home from hospital.. how bloody naive were we?! Thank goodness we chose a pram that for convenience switches from carseat to pram at the touch of a button and ordered the pram for walks which arrived on the morning Honey arrived, because we did need that carseat as we ended up going into hospital after the birth because of blood loss whilst delivering the placenta.
I'd planned to breastfeed so had only the bottles that came with our steriliser which we'd bought in advance, still available to buy in boots during lockdown. We needed those bottles as my let down pain was far too intense during the first few days to sustain breastfeeding, I needed them to express into and for some emergency formula feeds when we got home from hospital whilst I was in recovery.
Thankfully we have a dryer, so we can turn around clothes quickly after use. I've never been a fan of stockpiling newborn sized clothes because they grow out of them sooo quickly and we're not going anywhere so pj's as much as poss as you can imagine. But we have done lot's of online ordering with H&M because they're true to size so we don't have to deal with returns.
Obviously if you can get to supermarkets or get someone to go for you right now the superstores have a good range of cot bedding, some clothing, nappies, wipes, wash stuff, nipple cream, nipple guards , bottles and everything else you'll need in prep.
My main worry with supermarkets, with two other boys to provide for was the pre-rationing struggle, what was with that toilet roll shortage?.. And why on earth is there still no flour on the shelves?.. Baking through the early days of lockdown was our saviour.. now it's nowhere to be seen and seeds seem to be in shortage too, my main two things for preparing for a lockdown situation would be those so that we can survive in a self-sufficient way. Obviously now that Bozza's lifting shit left right and centre it doesn't seem so extreme out there.
But in reality, there's talks of a 'New Normal', masks and social distancing being the norm for a long while yet.. and don't even get me started on the school situation.
If we didn't have social media to stay connected, would we feel like we were in a more serious situation? The deaths are just numbers on a screen to most, but in reality they're someones mother, father, brother, sister.. they could be our family.
If being in lockdown has taught me anything, there's lots!, but I've noticed that there's a huge difference in the way we live out rat race style lives compared to the vaycay life we're all capable of creating for holidays and escapes from our reality.
The last time I felt 'at home' I was 4,000 miles away from 'home' with family members I hadn't seen in years, I felt at home because there was no wifi, no distraction, no heavy traffic, no need to get up and conform, I felt peace in a way that I don't get at 'home' the silence in the countryside silenced my mind enough for me to actually hear myself for the first time in years.
I've felt that way again in lockdown.
There's no cars buzzing by our neighbourhood, I can hear the birds in the morning and the crickets at night. I can hear myself. I can hear my children.
I can actually hear, focus and respond. Before it was a mess of quick decisions, panic acting and existing.
I have no distraction like emails and online forms, deadlines for companies and phone calls to make before 5pm, I have no call-on-hold ques to waste my life sitting in, I have no focus other than my immediate family.
Unless I chose to log on to social media or turn on the TV.
Why the fuck aren't we creating our own realities.
Jesus, we have our own businesses and before thought we had complete and utter control over our time, who we give it to and how we spend it. But jheeeze was this a wake up call.
I know that the world we live in requires us to comply to a certain degree.. but i refuse to come out of this the same person, always 'too busy' 'too stressed' 'too pre-occupied', I have learnt how to say No.
Something I've always been uncomfortable doing, because society needs an answer.
"why can't you attend this appointment", "we tried to call back but there was no answer, so the onus is on you", "we expect this..." "we need that"..
no no no no no..
We've all learnt things about ourselves throughout this time, haven't we?
Like others, to appreciate the little things like hugs and cups of tea with family.
But most of all to stop putting so much pressure on myself to fit in with societies idea of normal and expected. Look how quickly our normal was changed, I want my own normal, to respect my own boundaries and to put less pressure on myself.
To listen to myself, to hear my kids, reallyyy hear them.. to prioritise my family first, to reallyyy do that and tune in to what we really need, for us.
My point is, don't worry about 'normal' expectations.
To worry is to experience the problem twice.
Let's all get back to re-creating our own normal.
Stay safe everyone